First, wake up way too early and get the kids ready for school. Then insist on the 6 year old finishing her cereal in the van at the bus stop so you don't have to drive them to school AGAIN.
Second, look up the road to see if the neighbor is still waiting for the bus (because that means that you haven't missed it!).
Third, as you are looking up the road, notice the 4 cows that look vaguely familiar in the neighbor's front yard.
Fourth, realize that they are YOUR VERY OWN cows, sigh deeply, turn the van off and start walking toward the cows.
Fifth, follow the cows back through the neighbor's property to find out where they got out. Realize that the cows have become very adept at getting out and have been spending hours on the neighbor's property.
Sixth, grab the biggest branch you can carry wishing the whole time that you had your hot stick, and start hollering at the cows to get their sorry butts back in their own pasture.
Seventh, follow them across a creek, and promptly sink up to your knees in a mix of cold water, cow manure and mud.
Eighth, thank the cows profusely for letting you get The Farm Pedi today!
There you have it! In just 8 easy steps! The Farm Pedi! It will only cost you one pair of crocs and it will take up your whole morning. Be sure to have other plans, or you just won't get the full effect.
*On a serious note - many, many thanks go to Bryan and his friend Ethan, who were here on their day off of school hunting, but took a break and helped me! I really appreciate it...more than you know.
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